This blogging thing is harder than I thought....

For those of who check to see if I have written a blog lately.... well here's a new one for you. If you know me... then you know normally I am not at a loss for words... i was constantly in trouble at school for talking, or passing notes. So I start this blog, thinking that surely I can come up with stuff to talk about... but after the first few posts.... i find myself at a loss for words.

I mean I can only tell so many "poop" stories.... (although my husband got to change a diaper last night that had spread all the way up to my 2 year olds shoulder blades.... ). The cute things my kids say are adorable, but I have a hard time making a story out of them.....

I will share with you my struggles though. As in my blog title... A christian woman, wife and mom trying to figure it out.... It's hard to be all that I desire to be. Sometimes I get overwhelmed because I have a vision of who I want to be.... what kind of woman, wife and mother I want to be, and it seems so unreachable sometimes. Things come up in life and I know they are supposed to make me stronger, but sometimes I allow them to make me weaker...

A few days ago I discovered that someone had stole my debit card number and used it to purchase airline tickets. The interesting thing is the night before I had prayed about how I wanted to be more on fire for God and feel closer to him, and depend on him more. In a way I feel like maybe this was something God was using to bring me closer to himself. I have always been a naieve (sp?) person and really never thought true evil exsisted. Over the years I have definetly grown up in that sense... I have met people who hurt others and didn't really care that they did. Here was another example of someone who didn't think of anyone but themselves. However God told me not to fear, so I am going to trust in him. It made me stop and assess the rest of my life. I mean I prayed more after this happened than I had in a while....

Sometimes I look at my house and think of all the things I want to do differently.... I look at my kids and see how much more I want to do with them... i look at my marriage and see all the areas I could improve upon as a wife.... then I stop.... stop comparing..... and realize that life is about growing up... transitioning.... transforming.... we won't be who Christ wants us to be overnight. It takes daily changes.... as long as we keep taking a step forward each day... he will take care of the rest. Our job is to remain faithful to him.... pray... read our bible.... and trust him.

I think we all go through times where we feel we need to be so much more than we are... but as a song says that I used to sing when I was a little girl says "He's still workin on me.... to make me what I ought to be".

Life....

Sometimes I feel like I am in the movie "groundhog day" where I do the same things every day, only to go to sleep and do the same thing the next day. As a stay at home mom, sometimes it does get a little overwhelming. You feel so accomplished one day as you got everything straightened, laundry done and put away, only to find the next day that there is more of the same. Then I look at others that I know, moms that have to work, either by choice or financial reasons. I realize how blessed I am. Not to mention that God gave me kids who always spice things up and make life exciting. I find myself hoping for spring to come early. It seems my energy always goes up quite a bit when it warms up outside. I am looking forward to walks, playing at the park with the kids... maybe then it won't be so much like the groundhog day movie...

that's all for now.... more random thoughts later....